TG
The Battle
Full Version
Team Gaki Presents
Translators:
Mickstar
Typesetter:
Sacro
English Checker:
James
The First Annual Gaki no Tsukai
Chiki Chiki, if it falls, hell awaits
Tarai Roulette Battle! (Tarai: Wash basin)
Right, Matsumoto-san
It's come
We can tell what is happening
Yeah, that's right
Umm
There's lot of tarais here
There are 50 of them
That's right
in this room
And out of the 50, if you cut 4 of them, it will fall on your head
Right
And whoever that happens to, does the Batsu Game
Rules
They take turns cutting one of the 50 tarais
if it falls on you, you do a Batsu Game (4 of them will fall)
Right
And you know, every week here on Gaki no Tsukai
We do fun things and have a good time
and it's not something I should've saved till now but what on earth are we having to get punished for?
I have N-... O idea
And as usual, if one of Downtown loses, we are spared, right?
Rule
They continue until one of Downtown loses
Worst case scenario: 4 have to do a Batsu game!
You're okay with that?
Well, those were the rules when we did the Sushi Roulette too...
So let's do it like that.
Thank you so much
Those are the basics
Yeah
I don't know what you mean by that?
So if I lose first
That means I'd have to do a Batsu game alone?
Yes that is correct
That I will not allow
What do you mean you won't allow it?
But this program is called Downtown's Gaki no Tsukai Ya Arahende.
Exactly.
So what?
But one of the female juniors I drank with called this program "Cocorico's Gaki no Tsukai"...
There's something wrong with that girl then...
Tarai Roulette Battle
They take turns cutting strings attached to the tarai (4 out of 50 will fall on their head)
Continue until one of Downtown loses. Worst Case scenario 4 of them do a Batsu Game
Tarai Roulette Battle
Out of the 50, 4 will fall. They will continue until one of the Downtown is out.
The order will be as follows:
Tanaka Naoki
Matsumoto Hitoshi
Hamada Masatoshi
Yamasaki Hosei
Endo Shozo
Who will have to participate in the Batsu Game?!
So I have to choose and start now?
You're first
Yeah
But there are some with your faces on it
I know but
That's annoying too...
I want a safe one first...
The first one is...
But you know, I've been in this business for a long time
Doing this kind of thing?
They will have thought about which ones would get them a great shot
Matsumoto's advice
It will definitely fall on them in areas
which the cameras will get great shots from
I see
They think about that kind of stuff?
I kind of understand that
I didn't know that at all
Probably...
I have no idea about that kind of thing
And
And the danger aspect.
Yamasaki's advice
They won't drop it from heights so high it could
endanger them
They wouldn't want us to get hurt...
I guess they wouldn't want us to get really hurt
Exactly, that is a factor to consider too
I'm certain the staff here would think about the camera angles more than our safety...
Are you serious?
I just don't know which one is more of a priority for them...
That's true
Come on, guys...
Right then, I'm going for 17
Chosen one
Normal
It's too simple
It's a bit closer than usual...
Even if it fell, it wouldn't hurt that much
Even if this falls on me
It wouldn't be that funny
I see
It won't hurt.
It won't hurt, no.
Number 17 then?
Yes, 17. Here I go!
I'm getting nervous
Scary, scary, scary...
Just as we thought...
It didn't move at all
Come on!
I mean, come on
I honestly thought it was a bit dangerous still
This is about gut instinct, you just got to go with that
That's right
I might go for one with Chiaki on it
Are you for real?
I see.
I get you.
Surely not Chiaki.
Wait, can you not say "Chiaki is no good"?
Note: Chiaki wa naiyaro can mean both "Surely not the one with Chiaki on it" and "Chiaki is no good".
No no
What?
You misunderstood him
Endo
I'm her husband, after all...
What?
Don't get so paranoid
I'm her husband...
You misunderstood him
I meant "Chiaki won't fall"
Oh right, if that is what you meant...
If I was one of the staff, surely you wouldn't go there...
But Matsumoto-san...
Oh wait, maybe not, Chiaki is no good...
Why??
I'm stuck now
Oh hurry the hell up!
No, when it's your go, you will understand.
I do.
But
It's still his first go!
I do get that
That's true
I can't choose that one
I'm going for 2.
You're not going for that one?
This one would hurt like hell
If it falls
The gold one...
Oh damn!
Chosen one
Golden
Please fall...
There's still 49 to go...
Please fall
Here I go!
THANK GOD
Damn that's annoying
But you know
I don't know how to approach this tactically
That's true
Yeah
I think I will go for this one
Even if this falls, it wouldn't be funny.
Oh the Wash Basin
I see.
Chosen one
Wash Basin
It's too light
I don't know though..
I did think that too...
That's true
26
He's going for it!
He decided!
Please fall
This one won't fall, surely...
Fall.
Please fall.
Please fall, if it does, it ends...
Damn it, I thought it moved a bit!
Yama-chan, let's go
Hosei-san
Come on...
I'm just going to decide straight away
I'm going for the parachute one
Chosen one
Parachute
For real?
It's too dangerous, it won't fall
You think it's too dangerous to fall from that high?
No way it will
Why did you just laugh?
I thought, "Wow, he's really going for that one."
What the hell are you laughing at?
I thought, "Wow, he's really going for that one."
Why the hell are you getting angry?
Just hurry up
Here I go
32
Damn, it didn't fall after all
I was a bit worried for you too...
Right, let's go Endo.
I had already decided something from the start
Oh really?
I'm going for Chiaki
Just as I thought...
Chosen one
Chiaki
I don't want anyone else saying "Chiaki is no good"
I don't want her name "Chiaki Chiaki" to keep being said by other men...
This is actually really bad.
27
I don't know about this
Here I go
Trust your wife
Surely not
I'm counting on you...
I don't know about this...
Seriously, I'm begging you
Trust your wife!
Don't betray me, please...
Endo! Batsu Game CONFIRMED!
Who would have thought his wife would fall on him?
Endo is already out and is confirmed for the Batsu Game
You nearly chose that one!
You're lucky!
I really do hate the staff here
I can't believe this!
When I stood here, their poker faces..!
They hid it so well!
I can't believe this...
Give me a break, man...
I want one more...
But seriously, just a little bit
But I hate Chiaki right now just a little bit
Chosen one
Endo
Giant
Sushi
Normal
The game that got one of them OUT in its first round: Tarai Roulette.
In the second round, all 4 got through
Chosen one
Skull
And in the 3rd round , Tanaka chose the Skull one and was
SAFE
Chosen one
Normal
Next up, Matsumoto chose one with nothing on it, number 9.
If this falls, I will seriously get so pissed off and snap.
Why?
Why do you have to snap?
I will cut this (mic) off and start cursing so much
Stuff you can't broadcast
Who cares about the mic then?
Since we can't show it on air...
Chosen one
Normal
Here I go
Air Guitar...
He's playing an air guitar...
His air guitar came out...
HAMADAAA!!!
IS HAMADA HERE?!
He's picking a fight...
He's come to fight you...
If the side of this hits me, there would be problems.
That's true
I think...
That's right
That's true
What do you mean "That's true"?
But I'm sure everyone here has at least once in their sleep said "Die, Hamada"
But I'm sure everyone here has at least once in their sleep said"Die, Hamada"
But I'm sure everyone here has at least once in their sleep said "Die, Hamada"
Over the course of 17 years...
Definitely
I've said it in my dreams two days running, twice
I've said it in my dreams two days running, twice.
Man, you say it quite a lot...
In your sleep...
I might go for that one over there...
The one that says "Degree of Risk: 99%"
Degree of Risk: 99%
AN: Degree of Risk: 99%
I see
It looks like a dummy...
Chosen one
Degree of Risk: 99%
But this one...
There are weights inside of it
Weights?
That's amazing...
Are you an idiot?
You'd be so pissed if they were like "Well we did say the risk was high..."
"Yeah we told you..."
Right, number 6
Right, number 6.
He's chosen it
He's called it
You are an idiot, so die...
That's good of you
These 2 didn't say it though
I wanted to but...
You are an idiot, so die...
Chosen one
Normal
Next up, Yamasaki chose 19 and was safe.
Now into the 4th round
Tanaka chose one with an angel on it
Chosen one
Angel
This one surely will be fine
I will go for this one
He chose it
He did
I will be shocked if this one...
That's true
I would be
If this one falls...
It's cute so it shouldn't...
It would be a huge betrayal
I would be shocked
I get you
Like it really would...
JUST GET ON WITH IT
It would mentally...
You're right
Mentally...
I don't want to be betrayed by angels...
Just cut it and let it fall on you!
That kind of thing...
Chosen one
Angels
Fall on him...
Here I go
It'll be fine
I can't imagine this falling
This is going to fall!
I think...
Seriously?!
It didn't!?
I really thought it would
I
will choose the Matsumoto one
Are you for real?
Are you really going for that one?
No, actually
I will go for the Hamada one
For real?
No, that's wrong too...
Oh man, I don't know what to do
This is kind of...
I'll go for the peanuts one
Chosen
Peanuts
Oh I see
You're all going for the decorated ones
Right?
This kind of dajare (bad joke) won't fall.
Even now
It (the joke) is not dropped
Here I go
That was too quick
Go...
So close
Just now
The bottom part touched him
The bit dangling off
Thank God...
I was so scared...
What the hell man...
I honestly thought you were a goner there...
I know, right?
Man, that was...
What the hell man
I want more people to be in this Batsu...
That was...
Let's end it here
You got enough, right?
You got enough content to air...
I'm going for this one then
The Big one
Chosen one
Giant
No way this one falls
Are you for real?
This will definitely fall, I can tell
You chose a great one!
Thank you so much
I'm going to be busy at the end of the year.
Thank you so much
48!
He said it
It's definitely going to fall
No it won't
2 person Batsu Game...
It would be weird if this one fell
He was right
Oh..?
This is about how to think...
Next up, Yamasaki chooses the high and huge one.
Chosen one
Giant
If that falls, I'd doubt the staff's spirit, seriously
Doubt their spirit?
I dare you, drop this on me!
Chosen one
Giant
This is scary
Hosei-san, you're safe
You're safe
Hosei-san!
He's making a face like he's just won the lottery
Chosen one
Yamasaki one
Bumpy
Normal
They got through the 5th round fine
And now in the 6th round, it's getting more dangerous for them
I hate this atmosphere now...
I can't take it
They start to say what is in their hearts...
This is so tough...
29
Tarais left
50
What happens if the camera breaks?
I just don't think they'll air footage from a camera like this
Breaks?
Footage from camera
I've been watching the cameras the whole time
They haven't take an angle shot like this once yet.
They want the shot from this angle, as a TV person
As a TV person?
Chosen one
Video Camera
That's right, and also...
You should have changed the tape on this thing, right?
You did it just before?
And the tape is in good condition?
What the hell
What do you mean "good condition"?
Number 7, I'm going for it
Come on...
No way...
That's what they wanted
They just wanted to get this shot...
Oh I see now!
Oh I get it
Now it's seriously a problem
It is
It really is
It's really a problem now
Only 27 left
This one is really high as well...
This one is really...
It's really high
Chosen one
High
It's the highest one I think?
It's so high...
If this falls, it's so fucked up...
16!
He's called it
He did
Amazing
Here I go!
This one is dangerous
Come on, fall...
THE WIND!
THE WINNND!
It was just
Hurry up and give me...
Oh man
Man that pisses me off
Wow
That was huge that I got past that.
I've come this far, I really don't want to do the Batsu Game...
Same goes for all of us...
But if I have to do the Batsu, I'm just going to use my money to get out of it...
My money...
So that you don't have to do the Batsu Game?
I don't think this one will fall...
Chosen one
Small
It's very small
This one won't fall
If this one falls, it's done.
Number 20.
He called it
Here I go.
What the hell!?
We are exactly half way there
I am totally now like...
completely stuck which one to choose
It really starts here...
Why don't you just get rid of that one? (Number 18)
That's so true, mate...
there's a real cutie over here...
And just now...
He spoke down to me a bit there, but sure...
But hold on...
It's really far...
Oh yeah
See?
Oh yeah!
It's to trap people with long arms...
Tanaka you mean?
It's me
It's been set up for Tanaka...
Can you not call me long armed?
It just has a nasty vibe to it...
That one is dangerous!
11!
Chosen one
Normal
He said it
I wonder why
Yeah, why?
When I was walking, I just saw this one looking at me...
Can I go for this one?
I see
This is a revelation of the gods...
Here I go
What kind of revelation is that?!
You're kidding me!
11 is OUT
Yamasaki! Batsu Game CONFIRMED!
Yamasaki, who was chucked by the gods: BATSU GAME CONFIRMED!
You know what though...
Oh yeah, I get you
I'm going for 12
The ones around it will be fine
Chosen one
Golden
It must be
I'm going for it quickly
12
Here I go
Of course
I might go for the "long-armed" one
Number 18?
18?
That's the one
Actually I'll go for the Matsumoto one
Chosen one
Matsumoto
If I do this one, then the long-armed one, I'll be fine for a while
That's true
What does he mean "for a while"?
I go after him...
I'm going for this one
This one is scary
Right?
Number 23!
He said it
Please, just end this
Just end it here
Ma-chan, end it
Please!
Damn that hurts
I'm fine for a while now
For a while, the Matsumoto-Safe craze will make a reappearance...
For a while, the Matsumoto-safe craze will make a reappearance...
This is...
For a while, the Matsumoto-safe craze will make a reappearance...
Your favourite number is still available, Hamada-san
A reappearance!
That's true
That one is for you...
I'm going near the back
That's true, none of these have been cut
None of them
That's true
There's still one small one
Mini one
This won't fall
Chosen one
Small
Number 45
He called it
Please, let's keep going...
Here I go
Please...
Fall...
We're going to keep going
Damn, man
You are so good at this...
Damn, man...
And they keep going
Chosen one
Normal
Bumpy
We are coming to the end of the battle
Chosen one
Normal
Long Arm
Normal
The 3 get through Round 8 and 9 safely
And on the 10th round, the one Tanaka chose was...
Chosen one
Normal
43
I'm calling it
I'm counting on you!
You're good at this
Tanaka is good at this!
Chosen one
Away from rest
Surely...
Surely not this one...
Here, Matsumoto chooses number 49, far away from the others
Here I go
Nope
Damn
As I thought, this one was fine
Next up, Hamada chooses Number 39, a small one
Chosen one
Small
39
This is the last
mini one?
Fall...
It won't
It won't fall
He's hesitating...
He did
He is totally hesitating right now
The gods of the wash basins are now just...
Amazing
So, all the minis were safe
Mini wash basins were fine, eh?
Already, the two of you are out.
13
Tarais left
50
I don't know...
It's mine, so I'm going to choose it
Fantastic choice
Chosen one
Tanaka
So this one falls on you
Then Matsumoto have one fall on him and we can just end it right there...
Seriously
25
Here I go
What the hell!?
12
Tarais left
50
This is getting really hard now
12 left...
If I can get this one...
There's a huge probability Hamada will get it, so it's a chance in a way...
So I have to get past this...
We can't have that...
Hurry up and stand up
The fear of the Batsu rings in their brains...
Matsumoto
Will the person who has to do the Batsu Game be Matsumoto?
Or Hamada?
Or Hamada? Only the gods know...
I'm going to go for the dolls OVER HERE!!
He's going for it
Chosen one
Dolls
I don't think this one will fall
Come on, please fall, enough now
Come on...
35, here I go!
He's called it
He has
Please, seriously
Please...
Just fall
He's still safe...
Amazing, he's still alive...
This really hurts me...
11
Tarais left
50
I should be safe, for sure
What if I go for the one with my face on it...
I don't know if they will think 'he'll definitely get through a few rounds so leave one with his face on it'...
And 21 looks way too "normal"...
You know what, I'm going for my own one
Chosen one
Hamada
You're going for it now?
I will
I was very close to going for the Hamada one
I stopped myself just as I was about to call it...
Right, I'm going for it
I'll be fine, the one that falls
cannot be the one with my face
Surely they wouldn't do something that rude...
That would be very rude of them...
Seriously, enough. I'm done with this.
Please
Seriously
Here I go!
Hamada! BATSU GAME!
Hamada! BATSU GAME CONFIRMED!
It's been decided!!
Wow...
Jeez
The staff must have really thought about it...
And this is the result
That was deep!
It really was
So... how much have I got to pay to get out of this?
You can't do that...
He was saying before he would use his money to...
No no no, you cannot do that
No...
Thank God!
That's the worst, man; God, I'm pissed!
Just wondering but which other one would have fallen?
Which one?
44?
Oh that one!
That big one
Oh I see
I would have been okay still then.
Damn...
Great work, Great work-chan!
It's Instant Johnson...
You smug son of a...